Terrorism in Star Wars: Everything you know is wrong.

This is one that's been bothering me for a while, recently rekindled by a debate I entered with an acquaintance: Luke Skywalker and the Rebel Alliance were a group of terrorists plaguing the established governmental body, the Galactic Empire.

Yes, I am saying that the protagonists of episodes IV, V, and VI are nothing more than an insurgency hell-bent on toppling the current government and establishing their own regime, regardless of the consequences (Consequences: Billions of deaths and decades of civil war).
Okay, first of all, the Galactic Empire isn't this evil oppressive totalitarian government. In fact, the majority of the Galaxy was loyal to the Empire; the Rebel insurgency represented a pretty extreme minority. The Empire was efficient, well-managed, and it made sure that peace was kept in the Galaxy. Most importantly, it made sure there was bread on the table and that the trains ran on time.
Oh wait, no, the whole DECADES OF GALACTIC PEACE is pretty important.

"But what about the Death Star blowing up Alderaan? That shows they were evil!"
Hahaha, shut up. In essence, the Alderaan fiasco was nothing more but a large-scale demonstration of power to shut down a protest. Alderaan had been openly opposing the government for some time, and if left unchecked could cause major problems for the stability of the Empire. The Empire's decision to destroy Alderaan was much like America's decision to bomb Hiroshima.
Sure, it would be a devastating loss of life, but in the long run, it would prevent an even LARGER loss of life.
The flaw in the plan there is that the Rebels would then destroy the Death Star, which is a key military base and an important structure in the Empire, catapulting the entire Galaxy into Civil War.
And whether their cause was "good" or not is completely irrelevant. If today, somebody bombed Fort Knox because they didn't agree with what it was doing, IT WOULD BE CONSIDERED TERRORISM.

"But David! Rising up against a government is a right held by the people! If what you're saying is true, the early Americans were terrorists!"
You're an idiot. Of course they were terrorists. Let me paint this picture of America's war in Iraq right now, fighting Terrorism:

We send troops over there to make sure their government runs smoothly and to protect the people living there. Unprovoked, militants destroy our bases, riot in the streets, kill innocents, fire on our troops, and stage protests against us. And unneeded war breaks out.

Sound familiar? Oh yeah, THAT'S HOW AMERICA WAS FOUNDED.

Britain sends troops to America to make sure things are running smoothly in the colonies and to protect them from Natives and the French. Almost entirely unprovoked, the "Patriots" destroy military bases, riot in the streets, kill innocents, fire on the British troops, and stage Tea Parties and such. Unneeded war breaks out.

Hey guess what? Thomas Jefferson was a terrorist.
George Washington? More like George Bin Laden.

Needless to say, history is written by the winners. People tend to remember the early Patriots as "Freedom Fighters" rather that terrorists, but that's just because that's how we described ourselves. If Britain had won the war, The American Revolution would be likened more to the Boxer's Revolution and the Sons of Liberty would have been described as a terrorist group.

Which brings me back to Star Wars: It's all about how it's portrayed. George Lucas WANTS you to side with the Rebels and root for the fall of the Empire; it just makes the movies more enjoyable. But it distorts the facts because of the point of view.

All in all, the Rebels were a militant minority that tried to overthrow the established government and used violent means to do so. That is terrorism, plain and simple.


But to be fair, modern day terrorists aren't allied with Ewoks. Maybe we'd heroize them then. After all, Ewoks are pretty damn adorable.

-David